“Hello, how are you? I am Beija Flo and I’m mainly a singer, but I’m also an artist, poet and photographer – there’s not much I can’t do, really. Some people think I’m a force of nature, but under it all I’m just a woman. I talk about women’s sexual health a lot. Which means I also talk about vaginas a lot. This is mainly because I don’t have one.
I have a condition called MRKH syndrome which means that I was born without a vagina, womb and cervix. I don’t have periods, I can never be pregnant and I can’t currently have sex. One day I will do this thing called Dilation Treatment, which is basically stretching your fanny with heavy, medical looking dildos. You know, so you can do ‘the deed’.
I won’t water it down. It’s really blimming hard living with MRKH. Even though it affects 1 in 5,000 women, no ones heard of it. It’s quite challenging being a sexually active, gorgeous, young thing like myself. Don’t get me wrong, I make it work, but it is really, really, really upsetting. You see that’s why I talk about, you see. Do you see? If everyone knew what it was, it wouldn’t cure the problem but it would make it a lot less embarrassing for women like me. I’m not embarrassed of course, I’m not embarrassed of anything, but other women are and quite rightly so. It’s an indescribable feeling to have your womanhood questioned or mocked, as so many MRKH Warriors have had to experience. So I’ve had enough. I’ve decided we’re all going to talk about sex so it’s normal. Just to clarify, I’m not normal but having problems with your bits is normal. It’s a sad normal.
I speak very openly about this topic to humans of all shapes and sizes, including small people (apparently they’re called children), all the time. I think it’s really important for everyone to be talking and learning about their bodies, and I’m willing to start the conversation. Sex education needs to be improved, especially about the female genitalia.
MRKH is and also isn’t the reason I wrote this poem.
Last year I was rather aggressively kicked out of a festival for talking about MRKH syndrome on stage, as I do at all my shows. This was a first for me as I’m used to shouting at people who have their heads screwed on and agree with what I say. The reason for this is because I was told what I was talking about was not ‘family friendly’. I was told that this was because I had specifically used the word ‘cervix’. A word, apparently deemed unsuitable for children to hear. After having a cry and getting really angry, I found this quite funny. If I’d said the word ‘willy’, I wonder if I would have had the same reaction.
What I have concluded from this experience is that there are many closed minded people around, unfortunately in this instance, they were all men and it seems to me that there is a huge disparity between the way we talk about men’s bits and the way we talk about women’s bits.
This poem is my response.”